The Same, but for Very Different Reasons

IT’S ALL ABOUT WHAT MOTIVATES

Do not be surprised when you discover that you have a significant behavior or tendency in common with someone, who otherwise, has a very different personality than yours.  Several behaviors are shared on the personality chart, but for different reasons.  Understanding the motivation behind behavior is important in order to correctly identify true personality type.  I have put traits that generally trip people up in bold type.

Both the Popular Sanguine and the Powerful Choleric are talkative.  Sanguines are telling stories, creating small talk and sharing new ideas in order to meet their emotional need for attention.  On the other hand, cholerics are talking with purpose — giving instruction, asking questions, providing their solutions and getting down to business in order to get something marked off their to-do list.

These two personalities are also both natural leaders whom others follow.  Sanguines lead because people are drawn to their enthusiasm and constant activity.  Sanguines draw a crowd, which quickly becomes an audience.  Cholerics lead because they must.  They need followers in order to accomplish their purpose or project, and so they have a commanding personality.

One last thing the optimistic Sanguine and Choleric have in common is denial.   Sanguines do not particularly like to focus on things that are not fun, and Cholerics struggle deeply with admitting faults or wanting to identify another thing they will have to fix.

The Popular Sanguine also has commonalities with the Peaceful Phlegmatic.  Both personalities are often associated with playfulness.  Sanguines love to relieve stress through play.  Phlegmatics also like to play through quiet, calm activity where they can sit down in contrast to the sanguine who plays loud and with others in a rouse of activity.

A negative trait these two personalities share is laziness.  Sanguines prefer fun over work.  Period.  Phlegmatics are low-energy people who are not spurred to action until it becomes necessary.

The Peaceful Phlegmatic also shares a few behaviors with the other introverted personality, the Perfect Melancholy.  Both are fearful, quiet and cautious.  By nature, phlegmatics are more quick to retreat than the other personalities, so they often find themselves being bullied or pressured into uncomfortable situations where they are forced to pick a side.  These experiences cause them to become fearful about “next time,” and they determine it is safer to stay home.  The Melancholy personality is constantly questioning life and pondering the “what-ifs?”  Fear dominates through all of the terrible scenarios that could happen rather than in the reality of what is.

Also, both the Peaceful Phlegmatic and Perfect Melancholy are quiet.  However, phlegmatics are not necessarily shy; they are just content to watch and listen.  They are not compelled to ask questions or give advice.  The melancholy, however, is a naturally shy person.  It is not that melancholies have nothing to say, but usually they are anxious about saying something in the wrong way and looking foolish.  They prefer writing over talking so that they can review their words before sending them forth.

These two are both cautious.  The phlegmatic always asks, “how much energy is this going to take?”  as well as “how much stress will this cause me?”  The melancholy is cautious because they want things to be done right, according to plan and well thought out.  They cannot risk looking unprepared or foolish to others.

Powerful Choleric and Perfect Melancholies share the workaholic tendency and are both controlling.   Starting with the latter, people almost always assume that if someone is controlling they must be choleric.  Not true.  Cholerics take control because they take real issue with wasting time, and they generally feel their way is the best way and any other way is “stupid.”  They have trouble submitting to someone else’s agenda, so they take control.  Melancholies, however, can also be a controlling force because of their fear that something will not be done perfectly and others will notice the imperfections.  So, they take control.  With the same goals in mind, both may become workaholics in order to accomplish their desires or to see to it that no one else messes things up.

Sanguines, Cholerics and Melancholies may all seem organized and neat.  Sanguines only appear to be organized and make sure everything is nice and tidy in appearance so that people will like them, be impressed and praise them for having their act together.  Cholerics are organized mostly for efficiency.  Remember, cholerics do not like to waste time by having to hunt for things that are necessary for production.  Melancholies are organized and neat regardless of whether or not they believe anyone will ever see it.  Their desire is perfection. If phlegmatics are organized and neat it is because someone is on their case about it and they are trying to avoid further conflict or because someone has stepped in and cleaned out their closet on their behalf.

This list does not exhaust every area that we may have in common with another personality type, but I hope you can see how we are often the same, but for different reasons.  To effectively apply the personalities to your relationships, you must look beyond the behavior to the motive.

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What’s Your Brand?

As I’m preparing today to speak on personal branding for an audience of administrative professionals, I opened my inbox this morning and found a fresh article by Ephesians Four Ministries.  I subscribe to their weekly devotionals.

This particular one was quite timely and a great personal reminder for me, the speaker, to get and keep her act together!

Personal branding moves us from wearing masks to wearing hats.  We all have many roles we play throughout our week.  The issue many have is that they are trying to balance all of their roles and end up wearing a mask.  They are pretentious in their actions and spend their days just trying to fake their way through.

I am a wife, mama, daughter, sister, friend, in-law, teacher, entrepreneur, business owner, volunteer, and speaker.  Rather than wearing a mask and faking genuineness, I try to focus on the role of the moment.  I don’t wear masks which attempt to hide who I really am.  Rather, I try to develop my character and strengthen my personal brand, so that who I am is consistent no matter which role I am in.  I have made the switch from wearing masks to wearing hats.

We cannot balance every role at all times.  It’s too much, too distracting and non-productive.  Rather, I change hats and attempt to dedicate my attention and mental strength on the hat of the moment.  This mental switch helps me listen and respond so much better.  Better behavior enhances my personal brand.  Granted, this approach is not always easy and their are days I just want to hide behind a mask and hope nobody notices.  We are all life in progress.

Here is a segment of the e-mail I mentioned above.  For more of the article, subscribe to their free e-mail list here http://msg1svc.net/servlet/FormListener?Y2dpOjE6TE4=

“Coca-Cola is the number one “brand” in the world. Companies spend millions of dollars making their brands known in business. They want you to recognize their brand. When you think of their brand they hope you will have positive thoughts in hopes it will influence your next purchasing decision.

Every individual has a personal “brand” whether you want it or not. Cultures have a brand. Ethnic groups have a brand. Your brand is defined by your conduct. If you are always late, you’ll soon develop a brand or reputation for being late. Others will even show up late because they know you will be late. If you are a person who exaggerates the truth, others will soon fail to take you serious.

However, the opposite can also be true. Your brand can be incredibly positive. By being a man or woman of your word, who is consistent in dealing fairly and honestly with others, your brand becomes known as someone who is faithful in all aspects of life”.

 

Today God Is First (TGIF) devotional message, Copyright by Os Hillman, Marketplace Leaders.