I am currently in the process of studying proper business etiquette through the American Business Etiquette Trainers Association (ABETA). Today, the topic of training was on effective communication. As a personality trainer, I was intrigued by how closely their perspective related to the topic of personalities and character development.
Remember, highly successful people, in all types of professions, know this information and apply it!
Here are the four secrets to effective communication.
1) Effective communication is not about you. It is about others. Learn to listen and to suspend your thinking and judgement. ABETA calls this “self-forgetting.” I like that. However, this is easier said than done for me! My trainer also said something worth thinking about, “the listener is the one in control of the conversation.” If I can just learn to truly listen, I can turn and guide the conversation in a positive and productive way.
2) Effective communication is being aware of what other people understand you to say. In other words, you are actively perceiving what others are hearing you say. We have all been in a situation when our intentions or our words were misunderstood. As the effective communicator, it is your job to make sure they are getting you.
3) Effective communication is knowing and applying a conscious repertoire of effective nonverbal communication skills. Your body language, facial expressions, posture and gestures are ALWAYS saying more than your mouth. This is a skill I teach as a speaker trainer and one I have had to learn as a speaker.
4) Effective communication is about self-control and self-awareness. Surprise, surprise. Everything relating to personal growth, spiritual growth, character development and maturity boils down to these two things. One thing that stuck with me in the training today was that self-control and self-awareness are signs of a great leader. Technical skills alone will not help you get where you want to go, but practicing self-control and being self-aware certainly will.
All summed up, effective communication is this: speaking THEIR language. This is where being able to identify someone’ s personality and communication style is ever important. I’ll be discussing the connection in my newsletter at the end of this month! If you’ve never signed up, it’s totally free. Just go to my personal webpage and complete the form on the contact page.
Until next time, start listening.